Detox Pretox

Today I am starting another detox in an attempt to clean out the wine induced layers of soot that must be clogging my arteries at this point to get them, and the rest of my internal organs, back to a clean, healthy state, and then attempt not to do it all over again. Having said that: You have to detox in order to retox.

This regimen isn't quite a rigid as the Lemon Juice/maple syrup detox that Rachel and I tried earlier in the year (everything I do seems like a good idea at the time).  I still can't use cayenne pepper in any foods and forget about maple syrup. Scarred.

Having done a detox before only to gain back the weight, and rather quickly I might add, I am hoping this one has positive, long lasting, even permanent effects - like shiny hair, a clear complexion, decreased ass size (by at least half), wine-gut be gone, and added perks such as my soon to be ex husband gets a job offer he can't refuse in Siberia, and has to leave the country immediately. These things can happen. I am hopeful.

This new one is called the "Ultra Simple Diet" and it sounds, well, ultra simple. The gist of the detox is the following for a week:

• No Sugar
• No Caffeine
• No Alcohol
• No Processed Foods
• No Grains
• No Men
  

Pretty much it's only lean meats or fish, veggies, brown rice and you make protein shakes for breakfast and snacks. Nuts can be on the menu, but no Double Doubles Animal Style. Thank goodness I got my fix of In & Out Burger out of the way when I was in California recently.

Preparation is key to a successful detox, so last night I raced to Trader Joe's to stock up on all the necessary items that I needed to get me going, including the things I cannot pronounce - like Borage oil. What the hell is that?  I could not find rice protein, so I substituted soy protein instead, and stocked up on flax seed oil, skipping the borage oil that obviously only exists in the rarest of health food stores or in a far off land. By the end of the shopping adventure, my cart was filled to the brim with veggies - ranging from bok-choy to carrots, celery to cauliflower - I was completely set. Look how healthy my cart was.

Back at my temporary ranch, I immediately got busy making a pot of brown rice and steaming a bunch of vegetables to pack for lunch. This seems like it is going to be healthy and I was wondering why I hadn't thought of this before. I have always been a good eater, it's normally the gallon of wine I insist on washing everything down with that seems to be my downfall. Note to self.

Reading labels is going to be the toughest part. Not because I can't read, mind you, but because I seriously just can't be bothered spending the time scouring the back of a carton for a hint trace of sugar or one of the fifty other names it can be disguised as. Multi-dextrose, high fructose, xyz chromosome - who knows.  I do have a work-around as I am avoiding most of everything that has something on the food label that 1/ I cannot pronounce or 2/ I don't know what it is - which usually goes hand in hand with the things I can't pronounce, although I could pronounce 'borage.' Things that are natural should be simple to comprehend.  Like the rice I purchased. On the back it simply reads: Ingredients - Brown Rice. The end. No guesswork.

We’ll see how it goes.

Race for the Cure - Portland

I admit - have been a serious slacker with the whole blogging thing. This is what happens when your personal life completely falls into disarray and you go a little nutty. Okay, a lot nutty.

Long story short - the only way to get your life back on track is to start to do the things you were doing before the mind took a sabbatical.  This time it was Sara's idea, perpetuated by Lisa's need for pink legwarmer and two open spots in the Race for the Cure 5k -- that happened bright and early one Sunday morning. Here we are, looking more spry than what I was actually feeling.

Our team: Team Fitness Together, Lisa's studio here in the 'berbs of Portland. My goal - to finish. Unlike the Shamrock Run, which was plagued with wildly miserable weather, this day was filled with sunshine and a bearable coolness (as opposed to a freezing downpour).

So - we, and about 40,000 other runners and walkers, took off in downtown Portland to run the 5k. The race will filled with 'survivors' - from all over, running in a swarm of pink. Having a sister and best friend who both battled breast cancer (and won), the race did have more of a special meaning so I was happy to be a part of it (don't get me wrong, the St. Patrick's Day and beer had special meaning, just of a different kind). We're all surviving in one form or another when it comes right down to it.

Armed with an arsenal of gadgets, I timed the race with my Nike+ gear and found that the course was not actually a 5k, but a little longer - 3.8 miles, which I completed in about 32 minutes. Not bad for someone who hasn't been able to muster up the energy to walk in a straight line recently, muchless partake in a 5k. Anyone who runs on a regular basis, stops and starts again knows how difficult (and shocking) the transition can be on the body. So in order to make sure mine did not collapse in post-5k shock, we set out immediately afterwards in search of the best bloody mary we could find - with success.

The Urban Farmer was gracious enough to provide us with not only Bloody Mary's, but also a Bloody Mary Bar - complete with every pickled vegetable imaginable. It was like a salad in a glass, only a little more spiked - just the way we like it.  And now Sara can say she's been there. Finally.

Going to New Lengths

When you physically see the signs of your bad behavior showing up in the form of a roll of fat around the mid-section (read: Dunlop tire, muffin top, Michelin man), it’s time to get a reality check. Here’s us at the Oregon Brewer’s Festival last weekend where yours truly is looking a bit thick – not unlike a nice stout. And what's up with me and bald guys? Wait, that's another blog.

So, as yet more motivation to combat the jelly rolls, there is another bet on the horizon. Tanya and I are going to put $150 into a pot. 12 week time frame. Person who wins (weight, body fat and body measurements) gets the pot. If we make our goals then we keep our dough, just the loser that will fork their share over.

Time to put our money where our mouths are – instead of Ben & Jerry’s, or in my case Bogle and Jordan - it's going to be all about fresh salads, lots of exercise and taking it up a notch or two. And I plan on using my winnings to buy new clothes that I will inevitably need when I drop the weight – or maybe towards my gadget addiction since I already have clothes that are packed away due to the added poundage over the past few years. It’s inevitable.

It still blows my mind that some people can eat and drink their way through the world and not gain a pound. All without exercising regularly mind you. While I won’t spend a lot of time dwelling on it (really, there’s nothing I can do but remain jealous about my lack of the skinny gene), I will spend time every day trying to think myself thin – then I’ll get out there and workout more so I can still enjoy things like wine on a regular basis. Glasses, not gallons.

In light of that, today I am going on a run at lunch – in an attempt to get back into the groove. Wish me luck and remind me not to stand sideways in pictures for a while.

4th of July 5k - La Pine Frontier Days

Saturday, July 4^th (after having a couple of glasses of wine the night before) started off at the La Pine Frontier Days Fun Run 5k.  About 30 people showed up – didn’t realize La Pine had that many ‘healthy’ people willing to get up and partake in the 3.17 mile run on that bright, sunny morning.

Here’s me, doing a little pre-run stretching with my new, cool iPhone in hand. There should be an app for stretching.

The race took off from the Frontier Days location, and looped down a road that ran right beside the La Pine Rodeo, which I missed this year but did spot the rodeo queen while we were en route. She was on her horse and I thought about asking for a lift. I should mention that I also spotted her in the beer store the day before, wearing her crown that looked a little Burger King-esque. She was still wearing it.

The race took a turn down a dirt fire road, complete with potholes and thousands of mosquitoes, where we (the runners) doubled as breakfast. I’m thinking this was just another obstacle put on the course as motivation to run faster. It worked. I can, however, confirm what doesn't work and that would be the iPod “anti-mosquito” app. Don't waste your dollar on that one. 

We ran further down the mosquito-infested path and then across more water, which the race coordinators put a makeshift “bridge” consisting of a couple 2 x 4’s, and warned us of ‘obvious beaver activity.’ I was sure the “gadgets” and me were going into the water at one point or I would be attacked by an angry beaver defending his log jam.

Popping out of the wetlands around the local high school, we looped through the parking lot where many horses and trailers, including Ms. Rodeo Queen, were gearing up for the annual 4^th of July parade (and lawn mower race). Had to be careful where you ran on that leg of the tour to avoid any road hazards left by the horses. I slowed down at one point to watch one parade participant spray paint her horses’ ass with red glitter paint – that was a new one for me. The horse did not seem to mind.

Turning the final corner, and to my horror, the parade, was getting ready to start. On the sidewalk, which also served as the last half mile of the 5k, and was lined with many parade spectators, lawn chairs, coolers, kids, strollers, family pets and all. The final few minutes were more of an obstacle course than a race.

Despite it all, I finished in 27 minutes and 36 seconds with no animal attacks (other than mosquitoes), soggy gadgets or horse pies to clean off of my shoes.  I will chalk it up as a success. The lady who won it for the over 30 crowd was in her 60’s and had a time of a little over 18 minutes. Her daughter, in her late 40’s came in second at 22 minutes. Apparently, I still have to work to do. Will take the gold next year for sure.

Here We Go Again

I'm starting to see a vicious cycle in my running life. It goes a little something like this: Run, get into it, dig it, take a break (vacation, work reasons, whatever), fall off wagon, get run over by wagon, get back up, convince myself to start over again - and that's how it goes. It goes and goes and goes and goes.

So how do you stop the vicious cycle and just do it?

I pondered that question for quite some time tonight over a nice glass of cabernet (but of course). There are many articles out there that tell you how to overcome the 'barriers' that lead to the vicious cycles.

According to the Mayo Clinic, not to be confused with Mayo Winery (another favorite and sometimes contributor to my barriers), came up with a list of things to do to keep yourself motivated.  These were swiped right off of the Mayo Clinic's site.

Set goals. Start with simple goals and then progress to longer range goals. Remember to make your goals realistic and achievable. It's easy to get frustrated and give up if your goals are too ambitious. If you haven't exercised in a while, a short-term goal might be to walk five minutes once or twice a day. An intermediate goal might be to walk 20 minutes three or four times a week. A long-term goal might be to complete a 5K walk

Start slowly. If you push yourself too hard at first, you may be forced to abandon your program because of pain or injury. It's better to start slowly and progress gradually.

Think variety. Vary your activities to keep boredom at bay. Alternate walking or biking with swimming or a low-impact aerobics class. When the weather cooperates, do your flexibility or stretching exercises outside. Play soccer with your kids. Join a health club or martial arts center to broaden your access to different forms of exercise.

Have fun. You're more likely to stick with an exercise program if you're having fun. If you're not enjoying your workouts, try something different. Join a volleyball or softball league. Take a ballroom dancing class. Trade your running shoes for a swimsuit. Remember, exercise doesn't have to be drudgery.

Make physical activity part of your daily routine. If it's hard to find time for exercise, don't fall back on excuses. Schedule workouts as you would any other important activity. You can also slip in physical activity throughout the day. Be creative! Take a walk during your child's music lesson. Take the stairs instead of the elevator at work. Pedal a stationary bike or do strength training exercises with resistance tubing while you watch TV at night.

Put it on paper. Are you hoping to lose weight? Boost your energy? Sleep better? Manage a chronic condition? Write it down! Seeing the benefits of regular exercise on paper may help you stay motivated.

Seek support. You're not in this alone. Invite a friend or co-worker to join you when you exercise. Work out with your spouse or your kids. Take a class at a local fitness center.

Track your progress. It may help to keep an exercise diary. Record what you did during each exercise session, how long you exercised and how you felt afterward. Recording your efforts can help you work toward your goals — and remind you that you're making progress.

Reward yourself. After each exercise session, take a few minutes to sit down and relax. Reflect on what you've just accomplished. Savor the good feelings that exercise gives you. This type of internal reward can help you make a long-term commitment to regular exercise. External rewards can help, too. When you reach a longer range goal, treat yourself to a new pair of walking shoes or new tunes to enjoy while you exercise.

Be flexible. If you're too busy to work out or simply don't feel up to it, take a day or two off. Be gentle with yourself if you need a break. The important thing is to get back on track as soon as you can.

Okay, so I've done all this. 5k was the first goal (hence the blog title), support in the form of the Moo-challenge with Rachel; reward myself (daily with a glass of wine, herein might lie the problem but like all problems we'll just ignore it for now)......

More investigation is necessary on the subject. And on a better note - I'm on the up-side of the cycle. Clocked in four miles yesterday and three miles today. Let's see how long this holds out. I have my theory - and I bet I hit the wrench in the spokes when the Oregon Brewer's Fest rolls around.

Maybe there's an app for my iPhone for motivation. I'll check it out.

Gadget Geek

It is here - the day I have been waiting for a long, long time: the launch of the new iPhone 3Gs. My heart be still.

Getting the iPhone was quite a challenge. The Apple Store in Washington Square was set to open at 7 a.m. on Friday the 19th of June and I planned on being there with my nose pressed against the window prior to opening. So at about 6:15 that morning, the trusty lab and I headed that direction in a sleepy kind of daze. I figured it would be simple, considering I had already pre-ordered mine when the news first came out of the phone's release.

Walking through the mall you could hear the sound of a crowd. People were already gathered and I saw evidence of a sleeping bag on the floor. What the hell? The queue was set up and it was about four or five lines deep by the time I staggered in (with trusty lab in the car, waiting patiently). Nothing was moving all that quickly and I started to get nervous about the time it was going to take to get to the front of the line and then into the store to get the phone and get it working.

An hour later, one dog check (he was fine) and a new found Starbucks coffee that someone was kind enough to bring me, I found myself with Apple rep "Brandon." Looking like he had just rolled in after a Grateful Dead concert, he attempted to set me up with the new phone. Seriously, he looked like he needed a date with Irish Spring and a razor sooner rather than later. Getting through the process took about an hour, since I, of course, had problems switching my number over from my previous carrier. I was the 2nd case of that they had ever seen - which I just contribute to my bad karma. Since Kooper has a micro-chip with the old number in it - I battled my way through AT&T customer service (who were shockingly helpful) and got 'er done. Really, it's all about the dog, who was still waiting in the car.

Two and a half hours later, one bored Labrador and way more hassle than I needed that morning, I had the brand spankin' new iPhone 3GS in hand and was heading back to the office. I must say - this is quite possibly the coolest gadget I have ever had and am wondering how I lived so long without one. I have deemed it "my boyfriend."

I haven't quite had the chance to figure out all the features yet, other than setting up my bluetooth so I can still look uber-geeky when I'm out and about and I've dabbled a bit with the voice command option (very cool). There are a lot more functions I need to take the time to explore.

Yesterday I did manage to take a picture of Kooper at Laurelwood pub where we enjoyed a refreshing Organic Red after a nice hike up in Forest Park (where we got rained on). No one seemed to mind though. Camera works nicely, although I must figure out a way to disable the "current location" and/or "find me" options. Seriously, no one needs to know that.

Road Hazards

While on vacation in Maryland last month I set a couple of goals. These consisted of the following: That I wouldn't 1/ get bombed every night and that I would: 2/ go running to keep up on the marathon training schedule. With my family, sticking to #1 was going to be challenging and #2 was going to prove to be nearly impossible. But I was ready to give it a go.

So one morning early in the trip, when I wasn't feeling so great after failing miserably from sticking to goal #1 but somewhat still determined to stay on schedule, I headed out to go for a run. Where my sister lives, the country roads are quite narrow

- there really isn't a shoulder (nevermind a bike lane), so she suggested I run down a side road close by. I still had to take the main road in order to get there - about .3 miles in the danger zone. And, as my luck would have it, I heard the sound of hooves on the pavement not long after I took off on my little adventure.

It was the dreaded Amish buggy that I had the good fortune to hear heading my way. Not one, but three. They seemed just as shocked to see a crazy woman running down the road as I was to see three buggies full of people dressed in Amish attire being pulled in horse carts. I waved, they waved (at least they were friendly about it) and luckily, I got out of the way - long enough to take a picture. They don't quite like it when you take their photograph, so I had to be stealthy about it. Nothing says stealthy like standing in the middle of the road like a dingbat with a camera in your hand. I don't think they spotted what I was doing and if they did, they don't really have a 'reverse' gear to flip a quick u-turn to run me over, now do they?

After avoiding being trampled by the convoy, I made it to the road and started my own trot when obstacle #2 started to take effect. The weather on the east coast is much more humid than it is here on the west coast, so by the time I even got a short distance into the run I was already drenched with sweat and felt like I had gone further than a few hundred yards. The air is thick and hot making running that much more difficult and had me wishing for air conditioning, not to mention a nice, cold beer.

Down the road and back was only a mile each way, but that was quite enough. As I was running along I took in the sights & smells - like people outside shooting archery (sight you don't see everyday) and horse doo (smells from the Amish). At the end of the road there was even a hill I had to try to navigate -- down and back up, which with the heat was a challenge. The bugs were about as big as my head and felt compelled to dive bomb me as I ran, probably due to my lovely smell by that point. You think they'd follow the horses, but no such luck. Maybe I smelled like a horse, who knows.

The rest of my vacation was quite a bust, for running anyway. I did manage to drink my way through quite a few states, saw Elvis, caught a never ending cold and am now back attempting yet again to get back into the groove of training for the Santa Rosa marathon. Minor setback but I expect to make a complete recovery and get back to it.