Detox - Uber Fail

So... the detox was rolling merrily along. I was having headaches that were most certainly from the lack of caffeine in my system. Seriously, I don't think I've been that caffeine-less in about 15 years and my brain was doing everything it could by reminding me of this, not to mention protesting. By day three I had given up green tea (which wasn't cutting it) and worked my way up to Yerba Mate tea instead. It helped but wasn't the same a nice cup of strong coffee (filled with cream - another no no, and splenda - the big no no). Nothing artificial is supposed to touch these lips (insert whatever joke you want here).

Thursday evening I had a party to attend at a friend's house. She had a bottle of Alexander Valley Vineyards Sangiovese on the counter, begging to be opened.  I'm being tested in situations like this and not unlike all tests that involve me and wine from the homeland, I am sure to fail miserably.  To my credit, wine does not contain anything artificial. I should get some sort of point for keeping it real. I did manage to make it out of the party prior to the heavy drinking - which I heard lasted until 3 a.m. Yikes. And on a school night too.

As the weekend rapidly approached, my relationship with the detox just went further downhill, starting with brunch at the Urban Farmer on Saturday morning. Bloody marys were on the menu (again - nothing artificial there) along with real food. Yes, the real stuff - ham and eggs Benedict on a nice sourdough english muffin with a garlic infused vodka bloody mary to wash it down with -- who can blame me for falling off the detox wagon? Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself at the bloody mary bar at the Urban Farmer, apparently. And the homemade pickled vegetable smorgasbord that accompanies the bloody marys is enough to justify the slip up - we're talking pickled carrots, asparagus, some broccoli/cauliflower hybrid veggie, string beans and corn on the cob - yes, actual corn on the cob, pickled and ready to pretty up a drink. It's like a salad in a glass - that has to be on the detox menu. They didn't really specify how to intake the veggies.

Realizing my limitations, I've made a sort of pact with myself from here on out. Detoxing will be my theme of choice for weekdays - Monday - Thursday, and retoxing will be reserved for weekends - Friday through Sunday, hence my wine-free bout tonight with Monday Night football. Weird. And when football season is over (I shudder to think about that) then Sunday will move into the "detox" days as well. I have a Santa suit to fit into sooner rather than later.

The thing about depriving yourself of the things you enjoy is this: it just pisses you off after a while and makes you crave them even more. Like coffee. When I thought I couldn't have coffee, it's all I wanted. When I put finally had a cup in front of me - good old Stumptown coffee - I only drank half a cup of it. It's all a mental thing and right now - I am in no condition to have a battle of wits with myself.

We'll chalk this up to another one of those "it sounded like a good idea at the time" ideas.